How I learned to stop worrying and love the cruise.
Let us begin with a short litany of the preposterous: there is an ice skating rink, a carousel, a park with actual trees, a bar that floats up and down across multiple decks, an English pub (not to mention a sports bar, karaoke bar, jazz bar, poolside bar, adults-only bar, wine bar, champagne bar, piano bar, Spanish bar, and fully automated robotic bar), 20 restaurants and dining areas, five swimming pools, nine monstrous jacuzzis, two separate surfing simulators, four water slides (plus a fifth “dry” slide), a zip-line experience, a pair of rock climbing walls, an arcade, a miniature golf course, a Broadway-sized theatre, a two-story music hall, and an outdoor aquatics amphitheater featuring a 60-foot high dive pool whose bottom can split into three parts that independently float all the way up to the surface to become a platform.
There is a full spa, nail salon, IV therapy area, fitness center, and massage clinic. There is an outdoor basketball court, which is retrofitted for tennis, pickleball, volleyball, soccer, and even hockey. There is a full casino. An art gallery. A promenade with shops displaying fine watches, accessories, apparel, beachwear, and jewelry. There is a vintage 1930 Auburn Boattail Speedster convertible parked just down from the full-service Starbucks.
All of this is onboard a single ship.
